Bite Down

"Mamaaaa!” Anaya screams to the top of her lungs, tears flowing from her eyes. “She bit me!” She points at Asia, the drooling toddler with two teeth. The little girl’s facial expression transforms from one of amusement to one of concern, then to one of curiosity almost in an instant.

“That’s what you get, sit your little butt over there and don’t move! I’ve told you to be still too many times already! You don’t listen!” Stasia rolls her eyes and puts each of her daughters exactly where she wants them, while juggling a host of household items. She then rushes to the kitchen for gummy snacks to give to them. “Open this one for your sister!” She says as she hands them to her 8-year-old daughter. “Girl, what am I going to do with these kids? They don’t listen!”

“I wouldn’t listen either If I could immediately get snacks while being hard-headed.” Sandra laughs at her little sister. She loves her, but constantly prays that one day she’ll parent with more authority and grace.

“You have no clue what it’s like. I’m telling you they don’t listen to me.”

“You’re sending mixed messages, boo! But look, I’m not about to get into all that with you right now. You’ll adjust whenever you’re ready or tired of sounding like a broken record.” Stasia listens to her sister, rolling her eyes as she notices that her kids have resumed their normal activities as if she didn’t just tell them to sit down. She exhales long and hard and decides to sit right on the floor where she stands to collect her thoughts and her sanity. “I know it’s not easy for you sis, but you can’t let those kids run you up a wall. You’re the parent, not them. Those little fuckers don’t know shit! You can’t let them guide you, chick!” Stasia sits staring at her kids and listening to her sister, whom she knows means well and truly has her best interest, and that of her kids at heart.

“Stop calling my kids little fuckers!” She laughs. Sandra chuckles.

“Child, your kids will snatch the baby fever right out of a bitch.” They both laugh. “Let me get Terrance’s food together. I’ll check back on you later. Remember what I told you. Don’t abuse them kids, but all you need to do is go crazy one damn time and make sure you back up everything you say. They’ll listen after that.”

“Girl you’ll have child protective services at my door! Later, sis.” The kids’ screaming has begun to pierce her ears. For a moment, she feels she might be losing her mind. She marches to the children and retrieves the snacks they are enjoying.

“Mommy!”

“Don’t mommy me, Anaya. You won’t listen, so no more snacks for you. Until you learn how to do what I tell you, there won’t be anymore snacks!” Anaya looks at her with watery eyes. This usually works on Stasia, but not this time. “If you’re going to cry, just go ahead and do it in your room! I’m going to have my peace and quiet whether you like it or not little girl!” Anaya begins to calm herself as she realizes her crying will not change the current outcome. Asia has started to cry at this point. Stasia decides to put on some music in her headphones and find a happy place. She’s not quite sure how she’s going to enforce attitude adjustments on these girls, but it must be done. She hasn’t had peace or enjoyed the calm for as long as Anaya has been living. It’s time for her to reclaim that peace so she can focus on things she needs to do for her girls to have a life she didn’t.

Stasia experiments with some of the things her sister has told her. If her kids aren’t being obedient, they get no extras. When they cry, she tells them to let it out. Reverse psychology. When they are obedient, she rewards them, but not always with snacks. Sometimes just a hug, kiss on the cheek and a warm smile is much better at settling them down. After just a few weeks, she can already see a difference in their behavior. She constantly talks with Anaya about what it means to be a big sister, and her big girl begins to take interactions with Asia more seriously. She handles her more carefully and even tells her little sister “No” when she sees her getting into something she shouldn’t.

It took plenty of repetition and getting used to, but she is glad to have taken her parenting out of her comfort zone. At times it seems the old way is easier, but her new ways were yielding much better results.

THE END